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“Gah, for fucks sake, don’t you ever shut up?!” Levi snapped, his patience just about worn out entirely.

He had currently been watching over one of his little runts, one of the four little runts you’d birthed for him. God, if only he used protection more often he wouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit. He always seemed to get caught in the moment and forget to cover his dick, and by the time you actually got going he’d be too into it to stop and slip on a condom.

And so, here you were, five years and four babies later, working your happy little asses off to look after the damned children who never seemed satisfied with anything.

“Levi, don’t speak that way to Jean, you know he doesn’t like it when you shout!” you retorted, currently bottle feeding Armin, your youngest child.

“He doesn’t like it when I’m too quiet either, or too lazy, or too active, he fucking cries just by looking at me. He doesn’t like anything!”

“Well, your face is a little bit scary…” you admitted. You loved your husband but holy shit was he frightening at times.

“I never get a break from asshole children, I’m either working at our day care or I’m working with my own runts.”

“You’re not ‘working with’ them; you’re taking responsibility of your damn kids. Stop being an asshole – if you really didn’t want them you shouldn’t have fucked me without protection! I carried them for nine months, can you show a bit of fucking cooperation please?!”

Mikasa, the oldest child who had recently turned four, put her hands over Eren’s ears to block out the shouting and swearing you two were currently doing. Jean cried even louder and to make matters worse, Armin detected the hostility in your tones and started to shed a few tears as well.

“Oh great, now look at what you’ve done, [First].”

“What I did?! Fuck you!” you shouted, feeling just about done with his shitty attitude.

                                     


It had been Levi’s turn to change Armin’s diaper, thus, begrudgingly so, he took him into the other room to clean him properly.

As soon as he opened the diaper he was met with a putrid sight and a smell just as putrid to match. He recoiled in disgust and felt as if he could cry just by being in the same room as this little shit machine.

“God damn, didn’t [First] only change you half an hour ago? What the hell is this…”

Armin giggled a little bit and squirmed, causing Levi to dry heave and slap a hand over his mouth. Watching Levi change a diaper was by far the most entertaining thing you’d seen. He was so finicky around mess, and babies were always the pinnacle of mess, it was like watching two polar opposite forces collide.

Levi prepared himself for what he was about to do before jumping right in and changing Armin as quickly and neatly as he could. When it was all over he rushed to the bathroom to wash his hands before deciding it wasn’t enough and having a shower instead.

What a funny guy.

                                     


It was now the late hours of the evening and your children continuously woke you up throughout the night, but the crying had died down and you finally had some alone time with Levi.

You knew to utilise these moments when you could, so you’d trained yourselves to undress quickly. You only had enough time for quick bouts of five-minute sex. It was excruciating. It had been years since you were able to take your time and do as you wished.

You were currently tearing the clothes off your bodies and trying to turn each other on through rushed touching and kissing.

He pressed his lips eagerly to yours and you moaned against his mouth as he groped your backside. You parted from him for a moment to speak, “I’m sorry I called you an asshole today,” you breathed.

He groaned and kissed you again. “Well, I did act like one.”

Just as he slid his hand up your shirt Mikasa pushed the door to your room open. The two of you turned to face her, shocked expressions on your faces as she blankly stared at the sight before her.

You shoved Levi from you and pulled your shirt down, laughing nervously as you straightened yourself up. “A-ah, Mikasa! What’s the matter, sweetie?”

“I had a bad dream,” she mumbled, her words barely comprehensible to you.

Levi had been straightening his hair and pulling his pants upright. “You want to sleep here?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

And so it was, the three of you went to bed and huddled together in the sheets. Mikasa fell asleep within a few minutes, and Levi comfortably held you both in his arms. He watched you intently as you drifted off to sleep. He brushed your hair from your forehead and gingerly traced his fingers down the side of your face.

Despite how goddamn annoying taking care of kids was, he was the happiest man in the world for being blessed with such a family.
damn i'm tired. imma head to sleep
write more later
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsillycreator18:
sillycreator18 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2017
Take a water bottle "SQUIRT" bad Levi, no swearing in front of the children.
Reply
:iconshadowjackal35:
ShadowJackal35 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I love fanfic with the cast as children. Great story~ ^^
Reply
:iconirismatidia:
irismatidia Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2016
Good job Mikasa! You're the ultimate cock blocker and you avoided the conception of Bay-B #5.
Reply
:iconmaloriapony:
MaloriaPony Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You said that and then I happen to notice your picture. I now cannot get the idea of him saying that out of my head. Stupid brain. XD
Reply
:iconirismatidia:
irismatidia Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2017
XD Sorry! 

(Sometimes I'm trying to make extremly wtf or kind comments to balance with my profile pic ;p
Reply
:iconmaloriapony:
MaloriaPony Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Don't be sorry...it's hilarious. XD
Reply
:iconkatieluvkitties:
KatieLuvkitties Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2016
Amazing!!





I guess you could say.....They were the cum shot you shoulda swallowed........


Ill show myself out.........


Anyone get that reference!????
Reply
:iconartistic150:
artistic150 Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2016
Brandon rogers
Reply
:iconnekoriana11:
nekoriana11 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2016
Levi if you didn't fuck reader Chan with protection it wouldn't happen you mother-fucker XDDD
Reply
:iconsleepingbeautybill:
sleepingbeautybill Featured By Owner May 31, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Closing time the saddest time of the day
Reply
:iconddandyang:
DDandYang Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This was amazing!
Reply
:iconstellabear2002:
StellaBear2002 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2015
As much as I love you Mikasa... Can you please??? Ugh, you know what? Just forget it..... Come over here you little adorable mf!!
Reply
:iconaalayahupson:
aalayahupson Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2015  Student Writer
Levi though with the nappy changing XD
Reply
:iconleviismine33:
leviismine33 Featured By Owner May 9, 2015
We made up during a heated five minute sex session? Hmmmm.....fitting
Reply
:iconmahnoor12345:
mahnoor12345 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2015
Oh god I'm laughing so hard I dunno why 😂😂😂
Reply
:iconifyousayyouloveme:
IfYouSayYouLoveMe Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I'm dying a little
DONT BE SILLY WRAP YOUR WILLY
DONT BE A PRICK COVER YOUR DICK
DONT BE A FOOL PROTECT YOUR TOOL
//shot
Reply
:iconmeyers99:
meyers99 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
PFFFFAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAEngland (Laughing) [V3] Pikachu Piff Plz  I HEARD THE FIRST BUT  NOT THE OTHERSTomoya Okazaki (Laughing Hard) [V1] 
Reply
:iconaotlovertoextreme:
AoTLoverToExtreme Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I have to agree with link2008.deviantart.com/ . You must be awesome in person
Reply
:iconlink2008:
link2008 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014
Man I love all your stories! This one made me giggle xD
Reply
:icongosia-san:
Gosia-san Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Fuck you, Mikasa! I didn't get laid! xD
Reply
:iconcrystalcritic:
CrystalCritic Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Parenthood; You just can't get laid anymore, can you?
Reply
:iconkarlakagamine:
KarlaKagamine Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Student Writer
Ha, yup.
Reply
:iconsarudemo:
SaruDemo Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Student General Artist
did...did the reader just give birth to a mini-titan? [referring to abridged on titans/sex ed]
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yes
Reply
:iconinsanityswidow:
InsanitysWidow Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
this story was hilarious and funny!
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank u!
Reply
:iconellenorgrey:
ellenorgrey Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
"He recoiled in disgust and felt as if he could cry just by being in the same room as this little shit machine."

I love it.

Not just that quote the 
whole thing 
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you!!
Reply
:iconkittykatgirl2456:
kittykatgirl2456 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Student Artist
I was dying of laughter omg I love this
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank u!!
Reply
:iconkeira-giordano:
Keira-Giordano Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
XD
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
B)
Reply
:iconnaomichibanchan:
Naomichibanchan Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Student Writer
Senpai I love it!!
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank u!
Reply
:iconpallid-paper:
Pallid-Paper Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, children... Might as well have called them the ultimate cock blocks.
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ifkr
Reply
:iconkaoru-reisaki:
kaoru-reisaki Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
SEMPAI. AGAIN. 

Your works are the pinnacle of my inspiration!!! :) 

I look forward to more of your works! Don’t give in, sempai!!! NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY!!! x)
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank u my kohai! :la: u are too kind!
Reply
:iconkaoru-reisaki:
kaoru-reisaki Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
OH GOD NO. YOU ARE TOO KIND TO GRACE US WITH YOUR STORIES. . . *crais on her knees*
Reply
:iconkimmu-ikisayomi:
Kimmu-Ikisayomi Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"Well, you face is a bit scary," you admitted. You loved your husband but Holy Shit!? was he frightening at times...
is what I thought while reading that statement.

Another amazing product from you. Haruhi Suzumiya Emote - Thumbs Up 
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank u so much! :la:
Reply
:iconasexuais:
asexuaIs Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aha this was a good story!'
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank u!
Reply
:iconasexuais:
asexuaIs Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No problemo
Reply
:icongreystream:
Greystream Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Poor Mikasa omfg XD
" God, if only he used protection more often he wouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit."
Levi's such a family man
This was hilarious XD Great job!
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
levi's an asshole who doesnt use condoms smh
Reply
:iconunderabigailsrose:
UnderAbigailsRose Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
omfg, crying. That was too much. //giggle giggle snort

Mikasa's probably a mama's girl. I bet you anything.
Reply
:iconwhat-the-honk:
what-the-honk Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank u B)
she hella is a mama's girl
Reply
:iconunderabigailsrose:
UnderAbigailsRose Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Bet you anything she's kicked Levi in the shins a few times...
Reply
:icondoctor-ciruru:
doctor-ciruru Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I can relate to mikasa xD

Great fanfic as always senpai!
Reply
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