Honk's Guide to Decent Characters

Characters are all fine and good, but it never hurts to get advice for developing characters you want to be taken seriously. For too long have I sat by and read poorly-constructed characters somehow being praised while well-written and vital ones are ignored. Also I'm bored and don't have enough mojo for writing a fanfiction. Nevertheless! This, my friends, is Honk's Guide to Decent Characters! (Note that I will be using my character, Mordecai, for any examples that may be needed. I will specify when.)

• Part One; Naming.

- Is your character's name "Sunshine Sparkles", "Special Snowflake", "Evil Poison Bites Death" or something or other? No? Well then, you are already half-way there!
- Does your character's name mean "Sunshine Sparkles", "Special Snowflake", "Evil Poison Bites Death" or something or other? No? Fantastic! 

Your character doesn't need a fancy name. It makes sense if your character has a fancy alias, something they've named themselves, but I highly doubt any parent would actually willingly call their child "Snow Princess of the East Empire". Unless, of course, that character comes from a tribe or group where outlandish names are common! As I note below.

_{Note: If your character has a strange name that is matched with other people's strange names then that is okay. If they are the only ones with a bizarro name and everyone constantly brings up how crazy and awesome it is, then that is not quite okay. But, if your character is otherwise well-written then I'm sure everyone can dust over the fact that they have a weird name!}

• Part Two; Back-story.

- Does your character have an overly tragic past? That's okay!
- Does your character use their past as brooding rights? That's... 
- Does your character have an unnecessary faulty trait that they, again, constantly brood about? Uh oh.
- Does your character get called out on their constant brooding by someone who isn't perceived as an asshole? That's okay again!

It is 100% okay to give your character a tragic back-story, I do that all the time! I love tragic pasts! But that's mostly because I'm a sadist and like to beat and bludgeon my characters. What's not okay is for them to cry about it non-stop and belittle other characters' problems by saying "well, at least you're not me" even if they're trying to use that as a comfort. 

In fact, I'd say it's actually worse for a character to use that as comfort. They're not only making themselves the centre of attention, but they're also sounding really egotistical while simultaneously downgrading the other person's issues! Don't do that!

For an example, Mordecai comes from a post-apocalyptic world that was destroyed by the people she fears most. This trauma has resulted in her becoming a very self-centred and aggressive person. She does belittle other people's problems because she feels she has gone through worse, but Mordecai is undoubtedly a cruel person, therefore her disregard for other people is often called out. Tragic pasts can explain the character's actions, but it does not excuse them!

• Part Three; Flaws.

Good god I have seen some shitty fucking characters that have little to no goddamn flaws at all. Don't make people perceive your character's flaws as endearing. Don't give your character illogical flaws that serve no purpose other than for the character to cry about it. Don't downplay the character's flaws. They need to be recognised and brought up, not tossed to the side and ignored by the larger audience.

_{Note: Major flaw, a mental/physical illness that makes it hard for them to function, maybe they are overly-confident in their abilities and get proven wrong a lot but still don't learn, maybe they are inexperienced in an important, relevant field of the story. (e.g. they're in a war story and the character can't fight.)
Minor flaws, these can range from anything, really. Perhaps they are illiterate, insecure, unfunny, or are really bad at a certain topic and get teased about it. Minor flaws can be good, but again, if not written well, they make no impact on the character which is what flaws are for.}

• Part Four; Skills.

- Does your character have one or two things they are very good at? That's fine!
- Does your character have many things they are okay at? That's okay too!
- Is your character very good at many things, and is old? That's also fine!
- Is your character very good at many things, and is young? Umm...
- Do you show your character developing these skills or are they just there? Definitely no!

Skills are fine as long as they are addressed properly and are justified! Don't have some seventeen-year-old be the best assassin of all time, but is also a musician, a lion-tamer, and the lost Fairy princess. If your character has many skills, tell us how. Where did they get them? How are they so good? Did an old master teach them? If so, why? Why would the master choose to teach your character? Show them using their skills, show the skills being relevant! Don't just throw them in because you think they sound cool.

• Part Five; Conflict.

Conflict. Is. Vital. No one wants to read about a long-term character who - other than facing a villainous... villain - has no conflict at all. If the character gets everything handed to them on a silver platter, how can they ever develop? How can they ever improve? They're already perfect and don't have any need to get better. And that, my friends, is a very boring and stale story to follow. 

FOR AN EXAMPLE. Mordecai has conflict because she is the villain of the story, the good people are the ones who are trying to stop her from being a bad person or from doing bad things. She is power-hungry, and doesn't get what she wants by batting her eyelashes or flashing a smile, but instead by having to work for it. Seeing as how she isn't a passive person, her go-to solution is violence, which even then sometimes doesn't work. And that is her major conflict, because she's a menace and doesn't have the strength to back it up. She either has to improve her skills, or how she is as a person.

ANYWHO. This guide has gone on long enough, I think! I hope it helped. Maybe, if you guys want, I can do some more guides to help you with improving your literature and story-developing! Farewell, my friends!