The Art of Seduction - Levi x Reader

Going to Hanji for help was never a good idea, and never had this been more emphasised than at this very moment.

Levi was trying to seduce you.

Foolishly, he approached the only one he thought was wild enough to actually know anything about courting. And, to be quite honest, their interaction went exactly as expected – poorly. She kept talking nonsense about buying flowers and chocolates and every other clichéd move in the big book of clichéd moves. He also couldn’t help but notice that she’d completely dusted over the fact that he wanted to fuck you, not propose to you.

Levi had always had a thing for you; ever since you started working with him there was just something that caused him to eye you endlessly. You were just so alluringly attractive to him, and once he got an eyeful of you no one else seemed to cut it anymore.

Maybe it was your [H/C] hair? He always liked that colour on women. Maybe it was the perfect way it collided with the shade of your skin? They just seemed to go together so well. Maybe it was that body of yours, even with him only seeing the outlines of it due to your uniform it still managed to make his mouth water.

No, it wasn’t any one of those things, was it? It was all of them. Every feature about you was immaculate, it often made him wonder how the fuck one person could become to unrealistically hot. Your parents must’ve been sex gods to ever manage to birth someone like you.

“Levi! Are you listening?” came the voice of Hanji, intruding his thoughts and bringing him back down to reality. He grimaced knowing this nightmare was not over yet.

“No. What’d you say, shitty glasses?”

Heaving a sigh she spoke up, “Pick-up lines!”

“What the fuck are those?”

“Women like a man with a silver tongue, pick-up lines are the epitome of charisma! If you wanna impress [First], you gotta have a good pick-up line. She’ll be all over you!”

Levi had about as much grace and charisma as a dead squirrel, so it was plausible that the reason you hadn’t taken interest in him yet was because his tongue was less silver and more sulphur. Swallowing his pride, he asked, “…Do you have any for me?”

“Yes! I’ve got all the best ones written down in this notebook!” she handed him a small leather-bound book and clapped her hands gleefully. Levi didn’t care to even skim through the pages, he just wanted to be over and done with this nonsense as quick as possible.

Muttering a quick “thanks” he turned and left the room, preparing himself for the following day, where he was making it his goal to have you in his bed by the end of it.



When Levi woke up the next morning, the only thing on his mind was you, and how this whole pick-up line shit would play out. He hoped it’d actually work; the last thing he wanted was to look like an ass in front of you. That would ruin his chances of ever getting laid again. And god knows with all he goes through on a daily basis, no sex would surely be the last push he needed to fall into the spiralling depths of madness.

He made his way to the kitchen, knowing you were an early riser and would most likely be making tea by this point, hopefully you would be alone. He spotted you, going about your daily routine and – much to his delight – you were alone.

Levi clutched the notebook in his hand and sat on the stool beside you. You paid him no mind and continued to sip your tea while skimming the pages of paperwork you had in front of you. The Captain decided it’d be a good time to actually see what torturous words he’d be saying and opened up the notebook.

It was much to his horror that the so-called “pick-up lines” were as terrifyingly bad as he imagined.

Do women seriously fall for this shit? He thought. A dog’s bark would be more fucking seductive.

He spent the next ten minutes trying to conjure up the gall to spout this crap, and the patience to live it down after. You hadn’t done much; all he heard from you was the occasional sip and some shuffling in your seat. That’s good; it’d be awkward if you had started the conversation first.

Taking a deep breath inward, he decided it’d be best to get this over and done with before any of the cadets woke up. Briefly looking down at the first line in the book, he recited the carefully written words on the paper, “Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

He turned his head to see the damage he’d done and was bewildered when he was met with a disturbed looking Connie. “Uh… I’m not interested in you that way, Captain.”

Levi quickly packed his things and got to his feet, “If you tell anyone about this I’ll make you run laps until your legs turn to dust.”



After that morning’s frightening endeavour with the bald cadet Levi had almost given up. Almost. After seeing that ass of yours, though, he became motivated once more. He couldn’t deny it; you had an ass that transcended the ass realm.

As you were bent over and cleaning, Levi leaned on the wall beside you, flipping the notebook open once again. “Cadet [First], I have something important to say.”

You didn’t take your eyes off the job and simply replied, “What is it, Captain?”

He gulped and prayed this would work. “Nice legs, when do they o--”

He was cut off when a loud thump was heard, soon followed by your cusses and cries of agony – you stubbed your toe. “Fuck! Jesus Christ I think my toe’s bleeding! I’m sorry, Captain, I need to go to the infirmary.”

As you limped away on your one good foot you nudged Eren, who had been passing by the room. “Hey, Eren, Captain Levi has something to say. Cover for me, will you?”

“Huh? Oh, sure.”

After you hobbled away from the scene, a slightly angered and confused Levi was stuck with the brunet Titan boy staring at him. “So what did you have to say, Captain?”

“Forget it.”



Levi had tried so many times to seduce you with one of these stupid – and oddly derogatory – pick-up lines, and each damn time something would come up. By the end of the day, he was left with six confused cadets asking why he was saying weird stuff to them. Levi had never been so embarrassed in his entire life. And that was saying a lot, considering he was nearing thirty-five and had a personality about as welcoming as a grizzly bear with a chainsaw.

He tossed the notebook away and swore to never use a ridiculous method such as that again. No, he was going to be direct. He wanted to have sex with you, and if you wanted it as well then by god would he give you the best damn ride of your life.

He called you into his office and ordered you to close and lock the door after you entered the room.

“What did you need me for, Captain?”

“It’s hot in here,” he murmured, tugging at his cravat until it fell from his collar.

“You could always open a window, Captain.”

He rolled his eyes and walked over to you. “Why don’t you get rid of those clothes of yours?”

“What are you trying to say, sir?”

“I want you.”

“…I don’t get it.”

“I want your body,” he snapped, his patience finally wearing thin.

“Totally lost.”

It suddenly occurred to him – the reason you didn’t notice him wasn’t because he hadn’t been charismatic.

It was because you were a fucking idiot.

“Do you need landing lights to my bed-- I want to have sex with you!”

He hadn’t expected it, but out of nowhere, you suddenly started cackling. Soon you broke out into a fit of laughter, causing an almost flustered feeling to wash over Levi. This entire day was just a big train wreck, and he prayed to whatever God lingered out there that this would all be forgotten about tomorrow. Lord knows he wouldn’t be able to live this down otherwise.

Nearly a minute later you calmed yourself from your fit of hilarity. “I know,” you said, causing him to furrow his brows and frown deeply.

“What?” he asked.

“I know what you want. I just thought it’d be fun to tease you.”

“You…” he couldn’t even form the words of how annoyed he was at this moment.

Before he could open his mouth to speak you quickly pulled him into you by his collar and slammed your lips against his. This whole damn day he had been jumping through hoops just to get a message across and now, after all this failure and humiliation, did he learn that it was entirely pointless. He didn’t know how to feel about that.

Not that it mattered now anyway, in the end he still finished up getting exactly what he wanted.