literature

I'm Sorry - Levi x Reader

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Literature Text

He laid there beside you, eyes turned skyward as you sat almost uncomfortably close to him while going on your mindless, over-apologetic rant.

“…And I’m sorry I accidentally broke that vase and swept it behind the bookshelf,” you said. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you until just now, surprise! Haha…” You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly as you recalled the thought. You’d only just joined the Scouting Legion and already you made a huge mistake by bumping into that stupid ugly vase. You didn’t want the Lance Corporal himself to find out, so you simply brushed it behind the bookcase with your foot, acting oblivious to what you’d just done.

Oh and when the Corporal found out poor Eren and Jean had been the ones to take the fall for it despite their constant protests. Those two were cleaning toilets for weeks. But somehow, Levi always knew it was you who broke that damn thing. You were such a little brat – you’re still a little brat.

You shifted closer to him, looking down at him lying there, on the grass. He hadn’t noticed your tears, or rather, he didn’t want to. He hated it when you cried; he remembered the first time he saw it happen. It was over something stupid, you lost your necklace or something or other. Those goddamn tears and pathetic whimpers dragged him into spending hours of his time – time that would’ve been better spent working – searching for it with you.

“I’m sorry about the time I made you angry, and kept telling you to come to bed” your voice cracked as you felt the tears flow freely down your cheeks. “I’m sorry that I toss and turn in my sleep too much, and that sometimes you didn’t sleep well because of it.”

If Levi had the strength, he’d have probably slapped some sense into you, you thought. But right now, in this moment, as Humanity’s Strongest laid there stained in his own blood and missing his limbs you knew he wouldn’t have that kind of strength again.

The thoughts that ran through his mind in his dying hour weren’t about him failing humanity, or never living to see life outside the walls or the face of his child you carried inside you. No, they were all about you, he’d never see your face again, he’d never hold you again, he’d never wed you like he wanted to do oh so long ago.

You wished time stood still, but you had no such luck, you knew he was dying and there was nothing you could do to save him. He couldn’t even speak; he barely had the ability to look at you anymore.

He was so weak.

He was so tired.

Steel grey eyes finally landed on you and god he wished he never even looked. The last thing Levi wanted was for his final moments to be spent looking at your face that had been wearing an expression that was anything but happy.

With his last ounce of strength he moved his only arm from the earth beneath to cup your cheek as he spoke softly, “Idiot. I don’t care about any of that,” his voice was hoarse and strained, and it was painful to talk, but he continued anyway. “You need to find the others… and get back to the walls in one fucking piece. Do you understand me?”

You felt a stabbing pain in your chest as you gripped tightly on his hand bathed in crimson. “I don’t want you to go, Levi!” you cried. “Please, please stay here with me! Don’t you leave me, don’t you…” Your shoulders shook violently from your choked sobs.

“I love you.” His words bounced around in your mind for a bit before you could comprehend them. He said it to you before in the past, but once you came to the realisation that this would be the last time you’d ever hear those words come from him again you felt as if you could die, yourself.

But you wouldn’t, you’d keep fighting for a future your child could see that wouldn’t be obscured by the walls that currently imprisoned you. You’d fight for the man who saved you, the man who loved you, who cared for you and made you feel like you were worth something. You’d fight for him, for your child, for every other mother and wife so they’d never have to feel what you are right now.

Taking a shaky breath a weak smile came to your features as you finally said “I love you too…”

He hummed lowly, content at what the last thing he’d ever see was you smiling, and that the last thing he’d ever hear was you telling him of your love. His eyelids felt heavy as they closed for the final time, never to open on his own accord again.

Once his hand felt slack against your skin you knew he was gone and quickly let go to throw yourself over his lifeless body, crying and wailing at your loss. The noise you caused as you sobbed attracted the attention of Titans that quickly moved around the forest to find you. You heard their loud stamping boom between the trees and knew you couldn’t stay long, so for one last apology, you moved your mouth to his ear and whispered,

“…And I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”
what the shit how do i frickin write angst o my glob

aaanyway i wrote this bc the levi/reader smut is taking so h damn long to do uuugghh i hope its okay! it was really fun to write tbh and im getting excited about all the possibilities of future /reader fics!!
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Semiautomatictoaster's avatar

ack- evjenckvlnf biuwl how dare you now im ugly crying ;-; aNd I nEvEr CrY wHaT dA hElL