Better Than Me - Levi x Reader

It was always the same. Every night. Every damn night Levi would have nightmares about the soldiers he’d lost in battle, about the comrades he had to sacrifice for a better chance. They haunted him, seeing their blood stained faces calling and crying for him to save them in their final moments left him more damaged than he’d ever reveal.

He’d toss and turn, desperately searching for comfort in his sheets, wishing deeply that maybe tonight would be the night that the gods would bless him with a blank mind as he slept. But no, the load that weighed down the shoulders of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier was too heavy for even him to lift.

Beads of sweat gathered at his brow as he heard the blood curdling screams of the scouts dying around him, of all the people he couldn’t save because he was too weak.

God, he was weak.

But in the distance of the battlefield he heard a voice calling out to him, beckoning him to leave the bloody fight.

“Levi.”

It was your voice.

“Levi!”

You called to him again and again, your voice getting louder each time, filling his ears with the sweet sound of you.

“Levi!” you called once more, shaking the man as he slept beside you. It was rarely like this; even though nightmares were a common occurrence to him it barely ever got to the point where he would disrupt you of your sleep.

Finally waking out of his slumber he was met with your beautiful face. Even in the darkness of the room with the only light being the dim glow of the moon he could still clearly see the exquisiteness of your features. The gentle slope of your nose, the softness of your [e/c] orbs, the way your full lips were slightly parted as you stared down at him.

Why were you with someone like him? You knew full well that he wasn’t as strong as everyone thought he was. What could you hope to find with him? Protection? On the battlefield, he had usually been the one to save you, but here, in the stillness of the night with no one else around, it was you who saved him.

All of the monsters in his head, clawing at his mind and tearing at his sanity fled at the sight of you, at the sound of your voice, at the touch of your skin. When it was anyone else, the thoughts that ran through his mind in a whir of anxiety, fear and confusion of the unknown.

Work, death, tragedy, expeditions, Titans, the Military Police, his dead squad, his fallen comrades, the Titan shifters, his health, they all seemed to come flooding into him at once. How could he handle this, how could any human handle this? All this pressure, all this tension, all of humanity riding on his shoulders. It was far too much to bear.

But whenever it was you, whenever he saw you or touched you or kissed you the only thing he thought about…

Was you.

You gave him peace, put him at ease. Everything you did saved him in ways you couldn’t imagine.

How weak a man he must be to have to rely on his girlfriend so he could stay grounded in situations like this. So the question remained; why were you with someone like him?

Your hand gently caressed his cheek as you smiled softly, noticing that he had calmed down from his night terrors considerably. Pressing your lips to his forehead you gave him a light kiss “It’s okay,” you soothed, your voice barely reaching his ears, “I’m here, Levi.”

He trailed his fingers up the porcelain skin of your arm and rested them on your shoulder, wrapping his other arm around your lower back and hugging you closely to his body. He inhaled deeply, the sweet scent of you filling his nostrils as he planted quick, soft kisses on your clavicle.

You stayed there like that for a moment; feeling contented and comforted in each other’s embrace. Soon you let out a small groan before rolling off from overtop of him and back to your side of the bed, Levi had to admit he already missed your warmth, not that he’d ever say something as ridiculous as that out loud.

After a while of silence you assumed he had already drifted back to sleep, but you were soon proven wrong when he shifted in his spot to be facing towards you. Your eyes landed on him and a minute or so of awkward staring ensued. Was he going to say something or just stare at you all night? You hoped the former, because the latter would just creep you out.

“You can forget about me if you want,” he told you. Your eyes widened at his words but much to your surprise he continued, “There are better guys you could catch than me.”

What?

Did he seriously just say that to you?

God, how were you supposed to react to that? You felt awful, you felt guilty and sad and angry all at once. He just insulted himself, the greatest man you ever came to know. Why? Why did he suddenly bring this conversation up?

You moved to be back on top of him and held his face firmly in your hands before you planted a passionate kiss on his lips. Steel blue eyes watched you as you immersed yourself in his taste. Slowly closing his lids he returned the kiss with just as much passion, dragging his tongue along your bottom lip before you gave him access to your mouth.

He hugged you again, moving one of his hands to rest at the back of your head and push you further down into him to deepen the kiss. It almost felt as if, to him, that he would lose you if he let go.

You parted from him, your face mere centimetres away from his as you spoke in that soft tone of yours, “I don’t want to forget you, Levi. I finally found my motivation to keep fighting, and you want me to forget that?”

What you said had startled him, he’d been so focused on his own plights he hadn’t thought of yours. Your family was lost, your town destroyed, your friends missing or dead. Levi was all you had left, you needed him as much as he needed you, and he’d make it his mission to be there for you whenever your burdens were too heavy to carry.

“Please don’t say that again,” you hushed. “I love you, and I’m not leaving you. I promise.”

He allowed his eyes to shut as he held you in his arms, “Okay.” He squeezed you lightly and gave your head a light kiss. “I’ll hold you to that.”