A Very Short Fairy Tale - Levi x Lord Farquaad

Delicate leaves painted in a golden shade drifted from their place on the tree branch, littering the lush green grass beneath and adding an outstanding colour to the scenery. The sun was lethargic in its setting, giving the sky a marvellous palette of pinks and oranges, perfectly fitting the golden autumn season.

Levi stared out the immaculately spotless window, admiring the environment just outside his castle. Never had Levi thought that he would ever witness beauty such as this, never did he think that his life outside of the Walls would be quite so beautiful. He ever so gently placed a hand to the glass, silently thanking the Gods that blessed him with such luck.

“Today’s the day…” he sighed contentedly, his thoughts whirring but only focusing on one single person.

Lord Farquaad.

The man who stole the former Corporal’s heart was the very man he would be marrying today. Levi was anxious, his heart fluttered as it was lifted on golden wings. Just the very thought of Lord Farquaad would make Levi smile, something he never used to do.

The very man who Levi would be spending his life with stepped into the room, his mouth dropping agape at the elegantly clad Corporal before his eyes. He marvelled at the pure white dress Levi was wearing, the way the bodice hugged his muscled torso, how the skirt fell from his narrow hips and swept the floor in a sensual display of manliness.

Farquaad’s words were lost in his throat as he tried to force himself to say something. “Levi I--… you look beautiful.”

Levi’s face flushed, a shade of ruby dusting over his porcelain features. “Farquaad, you shouldn’t look at the bride before the wedding – it’s bad luck.”

“I’m willing to risk it,” he replied, the corner of his mouth tugging up in a devious smirk. This only made Levi’s blush darker.

“What are you doing here, my love? The wedding isn’t until sun-down.”

A hearty chuckle was sounded from Farquaad before he answered, “Just making sure you didn’t run off on me, that’s all. I’ll not lose another princess.”

“I am no princess, my Lord.”

“Not yet.”

The two longingly gazed into each other’s eyes, their bodies subconsciously carrying them to each other. Farquaad reached up to grab Levi’s hand, entangling his own infantile fingers with his bride’s. Levi spoke softly, his voice barely reaching the dwarf’s ears, “I never thought I’d find someone shorter than me,” he said.

“And I never thought I’d find a man with similar height issues as I.”

There was a short lasting silence between them before the Lord pulled his hand away from his lover’s. “I’ll leave you to your preparations, my darling; I have matters I must attend to.” He placed a light kiss on Levi’s knuckles. “We will be married soon, my sweet. I will see you at the wedding.”

Hours moved on and it had finally been time for the ceremony, the moment Levi could’ve sworn he waited his whole life for.

Farquaad had been waiting his arrival at the altar, looking as dashing as he did the first time Levi laid eyes on him. He felt flustered just thinking of their life together, being a royal, having Farquaad’s tiny little children; it was all something out of a fairy tale.

Levi grasped the bouquet in his hands tighter and walked down the aisle. He looked to his comrades sitting in the pews of the church and sent them a warm smile. The looks on their faces was nothing short of confusion. They glanced around the building and each other, as if trying to figure out where they were and what was happening – but Levi didn’t care to focus on that now. It was his big day.

He met his husband-to-be at the end of the aisle and grinned as his Lord aggressively commanded his servants to bring him a step-ladder. Once the ladder had been in place Farquaad stood upon the highest step, raising his arms up to lift Levi’s veil and rest it comfortably away from his face.

The priest that was to wed them opened his bible and started the ceremony. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today--” His words were cut short as a heavy wooden beam collapsed from the ceiling and landed atop the grooms. A loud crack was sounded throughout the halls of the church, and the still-bewildered Scouts tried to figure out if it was the beam, or the bones of the pair beneath it.

Levi weakly grabbed onto Farquaad’s tiny hand and gasped, “Farquaad, I don’t think I’m going to—I don’t think I’m going to make it,” he sobbed, blood trickling down his lower lip.

“Don’t say that! Don’t say that. We’ll get out of this together, I promise.”

“But… I’m so tired, Farquaad. I feel… I feel weak.”

Knowing what was to come, Farquaad closed his eyes and whispered, “Then go to sleep, my darling. We will meet again, on the other side.”

Levi nodded his head in a feeble matter. “O-okay.”

And with that, the two lovers let go of their grip on life, setting into the Afterlife together. No wooden beam would ever separate them again.

Everyone in the church stared at the horrific scene in front of them, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

Eren, a young boy from the Scouting Legion, stood up from his seat and loudly stated, “What. The. Fuck.”